Brief Entry
Wednesday, Jun. 23, 2004 - 03:12

Had a rough last couple of days for various reasons. Don't feel like going over it blow by blow right now. Gonna be glad to get away for a while. I feel there's something I need to get out, but don't know where it is, maybe getting me out of the state will help get it out of my mind/soul/whatever.

I'm missing the conversations I used to have with this one person (Psst, C, call me sometime, eh, before this Friday if at all possible). The conversations and the company, both well above par (in quality, not in score, sub par if in score, damn golf analogies). They were always a bright spot in my weeks the last few months, and been sourly missing them the last couple weeks. Of course, if they suddenly find my company abhorrent (which could be understandable, I suppose) then I suppose I shouldn't expect a phone call. Just let me know some discreet way, maybe send me an e-card like this one.

So many far out thoughts running through my head. Nothing I really want to concentrate on. I just want some good company and a good movie and a chance to forget myself, if only for a time. Only one of those is available at this time. Hopefully I can avoid any horrible thoughts and the like while I'm out, cause I'll be having SUCH an amazingly mind numbing good time. Or maybe I'll just let myself drink too much and not get enough sleep. That'd work, too.

I feel like I'm out of my mind, recently. I think a bit above and to the left of it. I get flashes from 3rd person, occasionally, like I'm seeing myself walking down the stairs. Not sure how much I like what I see. Then again... am I really supposed to like my life right now? Meh. Stop being philosophical. Just relax, don�t think, that�s what I need to do.

Need help shutting down my mind, of course. Then again, always have, just now I have worse things to think of. Such horrible things.

Gonna wrap it up here, I think, not gonna get anything terribly productive out tonight. Same thoughts wandering through my head, as usual, though in different percentages. Avoiding memories, as usual. Don�t need to get worked up, maybe I can get to sleep a couple hours earlier tonight. I doubt it. Damn I hope I get these two checks before Thursday.

Goodnight, then, to all of you, whom I am certain won�t read this till after I�m awake tomorrow.

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