Today is not a good day
Monday, Jun. 21, 2004 - 12:11

Grieving is a process.

There's nothing I can do. I just have to take by faith there is another side. I know I cannot emerge the same on the other side.

Roughly 364 days and 21 hours in the past I said "I do". Today should be a day of joy, but is tainted with pain. We would have gone for a walk in the park, probably gone swimming in some secluded hole, hopefully with no one else around, had a picnic lunch. Then we would have gone to an early dinner at the Albatross, followed by driving up to table mountain to watch the sunset and perhaps reinact some of our early relationship in the car, or just spent a long evening at home after dinner. Should have been a good day. It will be a day of sorrow for years to come.

But I must live through it. I find myself thinking I do not truely desire to. But I must live through it.

I wrote something today. It sucks, it really sucks, but the link will follow

memories tainted red [http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/8289730/]

My soul suffered a near fatal blow. Its like a wild animal after being greviously wounded. A wild animal, or a domestic one, for that matter, will go and find a hole to curl up in to either recover or die. I'm recovering, but the wound is great.

I cannot sleep while it is dark out anymore. I colapse when the sun rises, but the night is my enemy.

I'm out of words.

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